The Zoo 3: Sodden/The Zoo 3 - Sodden (Disk 2 of 2).adf/Edited_Articles/WhatsBeen.ZOO

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1523Y00F04ruby15Y00J1Y00C5NWhat's Been Happening To Us
3224Y00F05basic32Y00C3Y00S4NJude/Panda
3206Y00S0N
1223Y00F04ruby12Y00J1Y00C6NMelee
0824Y00F05pearl08Y00J0Y00C3N
0801NMelee has had a new carpet installed in his bedroom.
0806Y00C1N"I wanted wall to wall, so it would be nicely padded in case I colided with
0806Y04C3Nit."  Come now Melee, is that the only reason?
0806Y00C1N"Damn, you got me!  Okay I admit I was pining for the safe enclosed area I
0806Y30C3Nhad when I was in the asylum."  He wipes the dribble from his chin, with his
0801Nright sock.
0811Y00C1Y64C3N"This bloody straight jacket.  I can't itch myself or anything."  Anything?
0811Y00C1Y51C3N"I can touch my toes with my nose.  Wanta go see?"  No.  Is that all you've
0801Nbeen doing this issue then?
0806Y00C1N"A man came last monday and took a stick to me, but I soon saw him off.  I
0806Y60C3Ngave his fists a good punching with my face, I can tell you.  He indicates
0801Nthe deformity that he has sustained.  Nasty.  Melee picks himself up using
0801Nan ingenious pulley system wired to the ceiling.
0806Y00C1N"It's quite amazing, based on the dogems you know.  Sometimes I get a small
0806Y56C3Nprick... from the electric shock.  Oooo!, there's one."  Melee's equipment
0801Ngoes haywire and he is thrown out of the window with the force.
0811Y00C1Y24C3N"It's always doing that", he calls from the skip outside.  Don't worry,
0801Nthey'll come and pick me up in an hour or two.  He grins.  He smirks.  He
0801Ntries to dance, but he is still constrained.  What a poor wreck this boy has
0801Nbecome.
0806Y00C1N"I can fly... no really... no please... look at me mother... look.  Please.
0801NWhy did father never visit.  Why did you used to chain me to a lampost
0801Noutside the shops.  Why didn't I get food and water like the other kids.
0801NWhy."
1213Y00F04ruby12N
1211Y00C6Y00J1NJude
0819Y00F05pearl08Y00J0N
0806Y00C5NJude was very badly burnt this month when his drama societies reinactment of
0801NThe Joan of Arc Story went tragicaly wrong.  Which part were you playing, eh
0801N(hey!) Jude?
0806Y00C1N"The part I was alocated in this production of the classic fable was that of
0806Y50C5Nthe second oarsman.  Not a large part admitadly."  Well as the girls often
0801Nsay after playing checkers with Pip, `it's not the size that counts'.  How
0801Nmany lines did you have?
0811Y00C1Y27C5N"Well techinacly 2 lines."  Technically?
0806Y00C1N"Well I'm actualy second oarsman understudy.  So no actual lines in the
0801Nphysical - spoken kinda sense, but I am in the crowd scene right at the end
0801Nof the whole production when Joan is dead and we all sing that classic Duran
0811Y25C5Y62C1NDuran number, you know... [he sings... in quite a poor manner] Dance... er..
0806Y44C5Nd-dance into theee fire..ire..re... Rrrr-r." So how did this burning occur?
0806Y00C1N"Well there I am, and I tell you, you are not going to believe it... there I
0801Nam just sitting there with a couple of members of the crew... hey this is
0801Njust crazy... we're playing this, you know MAAaaaD game... right?,  insane.
0801NHa-ha.  It's my turn to see if I can survive being covered in petroleum jelly
0801Nand then set light to... whoops!  Doh!  What d' ya know?  You wouldn't
0801Nbelieve it first degree burns - I'm on this life support machine, all wired
0806Y53C5Nup for the off.  Anyroad I pulls thru and here I am."  Did they discover how
0801Nthis incident occured?
0806Y00C1N"Well the police said they found a footprint in a soiled pair of pants, but I
0806Y39C5Ndon't expect them to sniff much out."  Of the pants?
0806Y00C1N"No."
1213Y00F04ruby12N
1211Y00C6Y00J1NFish boy
0819Y00F05pearl08Y00J0N
0806Y00C4NI hear you've been having plastic surgery this month, Fishy, anything major
0801Nstuck on or taken off.
0811Y00C1Y69C4N"No just routine I've not become a woman or some such malarchy, yet."  What
0801Nexactly did you have altered?
0806Y00C1N"My kidneys.  I've just never felt very happy with their size and general
0801Nplacement in the relation to the rest of my body, so out comes the surgeons
0806Y42C4Nchopper and he sticks it right in to me."  Didn't you have an anisthetic?
0806Y00C1N"What ya sayin'?  You sayin' I can't take it?  No I just grit my teeth and
0806Y40C4Ntook the doctors tool straight up me."  Very nice, it sounds like a similar
0801Nthing I had done to me by a young boy in Morocco?
0806Y00C1N"Well similar, except I was having my kidneys adjusted and you... you were
0806Y53C4Nprobably being fucked by an underaged Moroccan kid."  Fuck off.  Any
0801Nafter-effects to your surgery?
0811Y00C1Y36C4N"Well, no not crabs like you got."  You bitch, I'll scratch your eyes out for
0801Nthat [I slap that slag, Fish boy across his face and he responds by pinching
0801Nme and biting and spitting]  Stop that or I'll pull your hair, young lady.
0811Y00C1Y10C4N"Shan't." [He doesn't - he wins]  I'm off to cry now, meanwhile Fishboy
0801Nparades up and down the corridor flapping his kidneys about, in an attempt to
0801Ncatch the eyes of the young ladies.  I hope he chokes on them.
1213Y00F04ruby12N
1211Y00C6Y00J1NUncle Jack
0814Y00F05pearl08N
0811Y00C2Y00J0NJack contracted cancer and died last thursday.  It isn't funny and we were
0801Nvery upset.
1213Y00F04ruby12N
1211Y00C6Y00J1NPip
0819Y00F05pearl08Y00J0N
0806Y00C3NLadies' man Pip is looking very stylish this month, decked out in crushed
0801Nvelvet gloves and matching cuff-links.  Does he feel that he, himself may
0801Ndetract the good image radiating from these stylish items?
0811Y00C1Y26C3N"I don't really care now."  Why not?
0811Y00C1Y10C3N"Shut up." [`SLAP!'] Ow!  Pip, how do you manage to woo the woman with an
0801Narse that barely resemble a human face?
0811Y00C1Y45C3N"Leave me alone.  What do you mean, by that?"  Well all I'm doing is
0801Nsuggesting that you are less a person in your own right, more a foul rectum
0801Non legs emitting contaminated runny shit and unpleasant smells and vibes
0801Nthrough your anal passage like mouth.  You cheeks are comparible to an old
0801Nman's flabby buttocks and your hair is like dandruff ridden, scabby bum
0801Nfluff.
0811Y00C1Y35C3N"I can't do anything with my hair."  Rubbish, you could use it's contents to
0801Nmanafacture those little, sealed snow storm things, that show scenic views of
0801Nlocal rural black spots.
*!EOF